Santeria
by Numb
Summary: This story is based on the greek gods, that means altered characters full of avarice, egocentrism, sick minds, power, injustice and lust. Possible sorato or sokeru, adult terms, love complications and black humor.
1. Prologue

Santeria  
  
  
Intro: PG-13 / Digimon / Romance - Parody / Prologue  
  
  
  
I'm so sleepy that I'm starting a new fic. My second one if you put it that way, since 'The Old House'... nobody wants to read it. Only... I dunno, four little people and I don't enjoy writing for it anymore. I'm pretty convinced that nobody will read this one either because it's not the kind of fic you all like. I like it, in my particular way. And I tried my best to keep the characters 'in character' but still with the personality of each god. Tell if I did a good job or if I screw it all up. I have like... 3 more ideas for fictions... But I wanna wait till 'In need' is finished.  
  
  
Ds: I don't own Digimon's characters, only the way my fingers move around this board.  
  
  
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Taichi's head is pressed against his hands, relaxed on his powerful chair. His long legs stretched right in front of him. I hope nobody is watching me looking at him. Who knows what strange ideas can appear in their minds. Streching myself on the red and comfortable, long, soft and sexy couch, looking around, I grab my gold nectar cup and take a sip. I boringly notice how his eyelids start to close and a fragment of his saliva make its way outside his mouth. Then finally his snoring completes the god's 'castle' with its 'particular way of sound', as he like to call it. It's a common snoring, for me.  
  
  
Hello. Maybe I haven't introduced myself, as you all want me to. I'm Mimi, or as those poor and assholy people down there like to believe my name is, Hera. I hate that name. I mean, what could one possibly find attractive in it? Hera. Horrible. I swear I'll find and kill whoever created it. I'm the goddess who protects women. Married women, I like them better. I protect them and help them when they pray to me, on my temple. I love being loved. I love being needed. Everyone needs this beautiful goddess, who helps out with abusive husbands, with the house, with the cooking... Me being a great wife myself, well maybe I shouldn't call myself a wife since I hate my husband, I can help out with everything.   
  
  
That guy that's sleeping over there was non other than Zeus. The all-powerful Zeus. He's just a stupid kiddo that thinks he's all and everyone loves him. That's not true. I can mention loads of humans who hate him, same for me, even if he's my beloved husband. Why would I hate him, you ask? Well, Taichi has this reputation of being a complete pervert. He in fact is. He'd had sex with every pretty woman down there. He even had a son with one, his name is Hercules. He's very strong, but his looks makes every lusty dream go away. He's very resistant, too. Even if I tried countless times, he just won't die.  
  
  
Well, stepping out that subject which is driving me mad again, I'll just keep on introducing the other gods. From my point of view, of course. If we look to the left, we can notice Takeru. He likes to be called Apollo, but I don't like how that sounds. He's nice. And I mean very nice. Blonde hair, blue eyes, smart... He's all I or any other woman ever wanted. He's the good of the oracle, music and poetry. He sings so well that every time he opens his mouth, we all melt. And I don't mean it literally. Too bad he's completely seduced by one goddess, which he likes better than me, only because I'm Zeus wife. I wish I never had.  
  
  
Now, there's this other goddess that I don't know why, but she always arrives to my nerves, her name is Artemis, or Hikari as everyone around here call her. I don't. She's one of those which I don't like, so she doesn't deserve my friendship. But since you ask for it, I'll tell you what she does. Artemis is Takeru's twin sister. That's only one of the motives of my hate. She's the goddess of nature and agriculture, also of chastity, purity and youngness. Ha! And she thinks she's better than me. She's only a virgin bitch and 'all purity' and 'goody goody'. I'm also a nice person. I dress with the best tunics and my hair is the shinier one. She's nothing, nothing compared to me.  
  
  
Ok, since I always get a bit touchy when it comes to talk about younger goddess, let's get into that flying person that I can see approaching. His name is Hermes, but everyone around here calls him Koushiro, because it fits him better. He's the messenger and everyone loves him. Because he's the messenger. He can get everywhere and to anyone. Very useful.   
  
  
Despite our personal profit little thingie, he's also the god of the roads and health, of the good stuff. He created the laws humans use and also their writing. See? He's the most useful of us all. And I do believe those wings he has on his shoes are cute. I'd like to steal them for a while, but he never takes them off. He's always using them.  
  
  
Now there's Poseidon. He a nice god, good and smart. The little maritime stuff that lives down there, in the sea, also calls him Jyou, it's shorter and easier than 'Poseidon'. Whoever put him that name should be also killed. It's horrible too. I believe that's why I feel connected with him.  
  
  
The goddess I hate the worst is Sora. That redhead thinks she's all, just because she's the goddess of passion and love. She's just full of lust and corruption. She believes that wores and bitches must be protected, that love is the most important thing along with the physical beauty. She likes to feel sexually satisfied. She's just a bitch. She's the only goddess I know that the humans actually put her a nice name: Aphrodite. I believe they did so because she'd had sex with them all, specially the young and beautiful boys. Now, the reason I hate her the most is because she's single, beautiful and a complete flirt. My beautiful Takeru is in deep love with her. He loves her passionately and believes he can correct her pervert mind with his poetry and music. Ha. Sure thing. What's worst is that she has also conquered the heart of my second option, in what love respects: Dionysius.  
  
  
Now Dionysius is not a common god. He's a beautiful, gorgeous young boy who has discovered the privileges of grapes: wine. Oh how I love that red liquid that makes my depression go away... He's so good looking, he kind of look like Takeru, but no, they hate each other deeply. Takeru is serious romantic and passionate, meanwhile Yamato -as we call him since... Well, I guess it just came to us when we were drunk- is wild, savage, and sexy and likes to party and get completely drunk. All his companions are drunkards, and he's always having wild and endless orgies with the ninfs. Until now, he couldn't conquer his true love's heart, but he's trying, I know.   
  
  
Oh how I hate that lucky bitch, born from the sea with gorgeous beauty. I wish I was as famous as her, but I'm only Zeus wife and people down on earth don't exactly love me, as they love her. That redhead doesn't need them anyway, she can have whoever she wants, with her beauty. Even my husband fell for her once... But I didn't accept that, as I'm not willing to accept her having all the handsome and young boys that live up here, in the Olympus.  
  
  
Anyway, throwing that subject, there's also Hades, the god of the Tartar. He's the god of death and justice. He's creepy; you should take a look at him. His victims call him Ken, don't ask why. I don't particularly like him, even if he's not evil or anything. He's just... Well, the god of death. Why would I possibly like him?  
  
  
There are some secondary gods and goddess, but right now I feel like relaxing. Yeah, that's right. Relax.  
  
  
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There's the prologue, short ne? Let me add something else: everything you saw in the movie 'Hercules' was a lie. The gods, they're not good and all over protective with people, they're not polite, neither correct. Their heads are centered mainly on lust. And Dionysius, he's not a fat, short man; he's a young, beautiful and savage drunkard. That's it. Hera, she's mean and evil. She tries to kill Hercules since he's not her child but Zeus' with other woman. I'll tell you more as the fic goes on. And if you don't believe, go and check out what Greeks have written. Disney just put them good and nice for the little kiddos' minds.   
  
  
nUMb  
  
  
ps: vote in a review who Sora should be with: The soft, romantic, passionate, lovingly and beautiful Takeru or the wild, savage, beautiful, fun, drunkcard Yamato? The votes'll be couting until the last chapter, where it'll be decided. 


	2. Ch 1: Dionysus

Intro: Digimon / PG-13 / Romance - Parody / Chapter one  
  
  
Thanks for the reviews. I wasn't in first place waiting for much since the plot is kinda complicated, but I liked them. The reviews, I mean. You gave me your opinion, and that's what matters. If you just tell me 'I like it' or 'I hate it' and you're not telling why... Then is not much of a help now is it? Hope you enjoy this chapter as well. (And sorry for taking so long you know but... Exams-tests-fu**ing personals is making this hard)  
Wait. You were wondering why I made Sora Aphrodite and not Mimi. Well, first of all  
1)I hate Mimi   
2)I find Sora much prettier  
3)I always thought that Sora had to be a bitch.  
4)Mimi's personality fits better Hera.  
5)What, still not enough?  
6)I hate Mimi  
There ya go. SORA is APHRODITE and MIMI is HERA. Ya that's better.  
  
Oh and... Votes: Sorato: 1 | Sokeru: 3 | Reviews w/ no votes: 1 | Author's opinion: yeah, let her have both.  
The votes are still open until it's definitely decided and... I added one more couple that has been interesting me lately: Taito. *everyone screams in pain*  
  
  
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--Dionysus:  
He was the god of wine and vegetation and taught mortals how to cultivate grape and how to make wine. He was good and kind with those who honored him, but carried to madness and destruction those who depreciated him or the orgiastic rituals of his cult. Along with tradition, Dionysus died every Winter and was reborn in Spring.  
  
  
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Right now I'm completely relaxed on my blue and ultra cozy couch. The nectar cup traveling around my fingers and my legs trying to find the most comfortable position. The blue sky, the sun striking right on my face, lighting my features and my blue, deep sapphire eyes like two jewels. The soft singing of the nymphs coming from the back of the Olympus and the quietness of the rest of the place. Now tell me this is not life and I'll reply you that in that case I'd rather be dead. So, as you may guess, I, Yamato if you gentle people let me, have not intention to move at all.  
  
By a strange force of nature which not even us Gods can understand, my eyes start closing and almost by instinct I let the cup of wonderful liquid slip off my hands with a slow and gentle move. Don't take me the wrong way, I plead you. By 'wonderful liquid' I don't mean to say it's the best. Ha! That's what nectar creators would want. But it's a shame since the best of drinks, the potion, the drug, the natural sedative as we all know already is wine.  
  
Its color, its passion, the sensation of your throat on fire by just tasting is just perfect. The smell fashioning with the fine gold cup, seeing yourself on it better than in a mirror and its natural shine makes it look gorgeous. The taste, the feeling resting in your mouth after you've consumed it makes it even better. That marvelous liquid that makes your sorrows drift away and produces the fantastic hangover to which all of us gods are used to makes me go mad.  
  
I'm almost sure that all of you child, young or adult people know that passion in red. I say in red since the white one is not as good as one would want it to be. The white wine disappoints several times. It doesn't fill my expectatives as much as the red wine does. It's a matter of tastes.  
  
But stop it! I'm sure I'm getting you all bored talking so much about that beauty of creation, so I've decided to take you all to a walk around the Olympus, so you may be capable to enjoy our installations.  
  
Lightly but difficultly, I lift from my favorite place and bent down to grab the cup of the second best liquid in existence. If we look towards left we can take a look over the wonderful city of Athens. Cute isn't it? With all those white little houses stick one with another and mortal people walking trough the many small streets like ants... There isn't much green, it's mostly yellow color that prevails. But the sea and the warm environment makes the soul fresh, you know?  
  
Now, at our right there's the ladies room to which I'm only allowed in cases of general drunkenness. It's delightful, yes yes. Whitish walls and kind of misty too. I say misty because my view in those special occasions when I can get in is not the best. But what I do know very good is the toilet, in which I've fallen countless times. It's not a nice sensation, I can assure you. Specially because my hairstyle, with my golden locks made magically up by a goddess that knows a lot about elegance, goes to hell and I must turn to her again. And she doesn't do her masterpieces for a little quantity of wine. Or sex if she's feeling lusty.  
  
Continuing through this place we find a corridor in which there are various doors. Do you want to know what's inside? Of course you do, it's so much fun to. One never knows what's waiting behind. Maybe a naked goddess, maybe a couple of semi-gods having some good time. But most of the times, it's pretty surprising. I once opened the door and found Hermes doing something pretty disgusting with his sandals... But you don't want to know.  
  
First we have this white one. We turn the handrail a little and... Oh for the Gods' sake! It's Hera! No, no. Sorry. Hera no, Mimi. She hates to be called Hera. Great, I believe I have to run because she's in one of her conversations/seductions with Apollo. The poor guy is so innocent that he doesn't know what to do with Mimi showing him her curves without shame at all. The immortal woman is desperate, after the impotence of her husband, Taichi, that happened after a mortal woman gave him a strange potion after he had an adventure with her. We don't know what it was, but it sure reached its objective. Who ever said that Zeus was omnipotent?  
  
Let's close this door, without making any noise of course. Now the second one must be something better. We turn and Voilá, open. Oh, it's only the annoying Hermes. That guy is so silent and diligent as... I don't know, a rock? Wait, are rocks diligent? Doesn't matter. Now, if we look carefully we can see how he organizes his stuff and cleans his winged shoes. Those little wings are so stupid... Little-cutely wings for little annoying Koushiro. It's fun... Well, maybe not if I say it like that but... Oh well, at least is funny for me. But now we must leave or he'll find me and then make me help him out.  
  
I don't *help* anyone. I enjoy my life.  
  
Let's close this door also. Let's go to the third one. They say that the third one is the winning one. Let's see if they're right... So... We turn and... Oh! What am I seeing! It's not other but my beloved and sweet Aphrodite! That girl is so, but so beautiful that I can't help it but love her. And seems we've arrived at the right time! She's brushing her shining and recently cut red and brilliant hair. Short hair really fits her greatly. Ahh... Just look at her. She's so beautiful and bitchy that I just... Can't help but slip through into her room. Trying not to make any noise, we approach without her noticing. Now that we're at a perfect distance we take profit and grab her perfectly sized hips from both sides, then approach one more step and slowly kiss her white neck. I know that this conquering tactic is infallible, every one falls in my trap.  
  
"I can't now, Yamato. I'm busy"  
  
But what a drying answer! Me, the beautiful, gorgeous and beloved god can't be treated like that! "How's that?" I ask between kisses "don't you prefer me to be 'busy'?  
  
Oh yeah. I'm a seducer.  
  
"I've promised Apollo that I'd have a conversation with him"  
  
Apollo? Takeru? He's taking my love away from me? This I can't believe! "Apollo? Ha!"  
  
"Yes, Apollo"  
  
I roll my eyes when I notice that I can't make her react to my sexual intentions or get her to my couch. Then, I ask shyly "and would you mind if I join to your conversation? A menage-á-trois?"  
  
Not only seducer but funny, too. I'm so perfect.  
  
"Always thinking about the same thing. But well, if you want to... Come with us. But don't act stupidly, you know that the poor guy is suffering of sexual harassment by Hera."  
  
"...Sure" I say while licking the side of her ear. The 'poor, little Apollo'. We'll see how innocent he is.  
  
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I love this fiiiiic!! ^_^ It's my personal favorite since I have every character with the personality I think they should have. I'm glad. Can't know why but I am! I believe it's this story... Anyway, I hope it makes you happy too! (?) It's short, I know. But chapters are gonna be displayed that way since well, this is not supposed to last long. Not too much anyway. And please, remember to review because... I need your OPINION! and I also need your VOTE! Please? Thanx   
  
nUMb 


	3. Ch 2: Apollo

Intro: Digimon / PG-13 / Romance - Parody / Chapter two  
  
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--Apollo:  
He is in many respects the paradigm of a Greek god. He represents order, harmony, and civilization in a way that most other Olympian deities cannot quite equal. One only has to compare him with Dionysus to understand how Apollo is depicted as a bright, rational counterpart to the chaotic and frenzied god of wine and women.  
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Well... Hello. Yeah, hello is an acceptable way to introduce myself. So: Hello, I'm Apollo or Takeru if you want. God of poetry, music, and some other delicious things related to art. If you ask, you'll see that everyone know me and appreciate since I've written well known sonnets and incomparable idylls and I've lighted poets and writers like Isopod and Dante.   
  
Delightful singer, amazing player of all the instruments you can mention.  
  
Yes.  
  
But if you yell loudly how much you like me I'd blush as if there's no tomorrow. Even if that's impossible since I'm an immortal being. You'll see, noble human creature, I am in fact more of a shy god and even if I do like telling myself how good I am, I certainly can't accept other people to say it. It drives me... Red.  
  
As you can see, I'm trying to work on my operas. I'm in my work place, at my special section of the Olympus decorated with extremely fine paints I've sent someone to steal from mortals, sculptures and lots of instruments, some of them not even known by humans. This is my blue and delightful heaven, as I call it. I like to imagine it's a private sanctuary where I can get away from the other gods, noisy and disturbing beings. They always bother me, saying I'm a boring, no fun god. I am not. I like things other don't and to differ myself from those detestable creatures I actually have feelings.   
  
Of course not all the gods are evil... I can mention at least one, the keeper of my heart, the reason of my existence... And I can mention lots of uneducated, egocentric immortals that shouldn't be even called gods... Specially a certain drunkard. Zeus just named him god because of his invention... What a lame, lame and unpleasant blond... Better known as Yamato. He doesn't only hate me, but he's also deeply in love with MY beloved! I remember he found his love for her, Aphrodite, some week after he made 'love' with my sister Hikari! How, how in this horrible world did he dare to touch MY sister and then tell the whole place he is in love with MY goddess!! Argh! The only thought of his azure and misty eyes make me shiver in anger! He calls himself the beauty of the Olympus... What right does he have to do so? I came here first! I am more talented than he is! I am more of a gentleman! And to the top of it all, if looks is the only thing that matters, WE ARE ALMOST ALIKE!   
  
I hate myself for it. And damn it. Look what thinking about that--- that--- that mistake of creation made me do... I've destroyed the paper I was going to write on. Now I have to go and get another one. And you know what? It's his entire fault. He makes my life miserable.  
  
*cough* Now silence, please. I'm trying to concentrate in a new and deep sonnet. It's not easy, not at all. I must find  
the right words,   
the argument,   
the method,   
the feeli--"Apollo! I finally found you, my dear pigeon!"--and the way to escape from this nightmare of woman. Hera. No, wait, Hera no, Mimi. I think she yesterday killed the incautious man that named her that way.   
  
My main pursuer, the one who's always waiting in the shadows to sexually harass my charming, yet slender body. It seems a lie, she being Zeus' wife and having the title of goddess of goddess...   
  
Talking about Zeus, did you know that because of a mortal he's now impotent?  
  
"Oooh, silent as a rock aren't we?" Is she trying to be poetic with that comparison? "Would you come with me to my chambers? I only need to talk to you, my dear..." She asks me seductively, batting her eyelashes. At this point you can imagine I'm trying to climb up the walls.   
  
"I'm... Busy" I answer bravely, me, innocent and hopeless little creature in comparision with this immortal woman. As I turn down her request I notice terrified how her face features change from tender and gentle ones to those of a blood thirsty murder. Oh Ades! If you could only take me away to the underneath where the unliving live...! If I weren't immortal...  
  
Panic over coming me, I say "Don't worry, cara, go to your chambers and I'll be there with you in five little and ever so small minutes" I say, making with my fore finger and my thumb the 'little' sign. Fortunately the tender and gentle face came back to light her, and turning around, she leave. And I free the breath held in my lungs because of the panic.  
  
The feminine species is a strange and evil one. But after all, I know that the one and only girl for me is Aphrodite.   
  
She's a flower made woman, the sunlight captured in her face, the beauty of the ocean waves trapped in her body! O dolce fanciulla ove conforme risiede l'amore del mio giovanile incanto! If only your beauty and kindness weren't a mortal trap for us, young immortal and mortal! Quanto l'amo, o graziosa fanciulla...  
  
"APOLLO! I'm waiting, dear" But are the avversi numi -contradictory destiny- which call me, and I'm damned to suffer with Mimi... I know! Quickly, I must write a letter telling my beloved we need to talk in Mimi's room so she'll rescue me! Not only beauty and charisma lays in her soul, ma un abito fiero - strong character- that turns every beast into the smallest of insects!   
  
"Carello!" I call my horse "bring this to Aphrodite; she'll know what to do!" Carello nods his head perfectly adorned with golden locks and leaves, while I'm left alone at Mimi's mercy.  
  
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"Ahh... Finally, my darling!" She says when I enter her chamber. She's laying her body on a pink couch showing with a lose tunic most of her curves.  
  
"Yes, yes..." I say lamely; and she laughs.  
  
"You aren't nervous, are you?" I shock my head, but my trembling legs say the contraire. Mimi smiles, then starts getting dangerously close to my person. I make a step backwards, but she's quicker and only two or three steps away split me from her. And it seems she's ready to brake the gap between us existent, so I better close my eyes not to look: eyes that don't see, heart that doesn't feel. Not that it would feel anything else but pain...  
  
"Taichi! Hera is cheating on you, *again*!"  
  
I hear a gasp from Mimi. Who, who in this world is capable to call her like that out loud? Who told her husband her intentions? Who wants to be tortured to the rest of eternity? Who is the keeper of that wonderful voice? I open my eyes and see... Aphrodite! She's come to rescue me! Oh thank you goddess of gods! Thanks to the heaven, infinite thanks! But... What...? Are my eyes betraying me in an inconsiderate revenge...? Why is Dionysus...-- Holding her like a grape to its stem--- And kissing her immaculate neck?!  
  
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votes-  
sorato 7  
sokeru 3  
taito 0  
no votes 4  
menage-á-trois 1 (numb)  
  
This took long enough. I've lost most of my interest in all what respects digimon/fics/sorato but if you review enough I might do an exception and write the next chapter sooner. So what do you think? 


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